The big picture pin-ups

The point is not that I do not have the answers. It is that I have them, but that does not in the least help me having them cos there’s nothing I can do about it. Or choose to, this moment, cos technically anything is possible crap holds true always no?
Any problem you take for that matter.

1. Kid causing too much trouble and driving me nuts: See, she is a 3 and half year old kid, of course these tantrums will be there, more so in some kids (levels of blessedness here), she’s not going to be 3 and a half for ever, THIS TOO WILL PASS. The big picture, look at the big picture – all part of management. I know it, but still I tell you, it’s driving me nuts!! Cos, the moment I begin to pin this up on the wall poster and start looking at the big picture, I realize the picture has been drawn by someone who’s worse than me in drawing. You see the next pin-up of the words ‘con
call at 10pm’.
2. Con c all at 10pm: K has a conference call which he has to dial-in for which he does not have the no. which he is trying to get by frantically trying to call his boss whose cell is not answered – everyone is grappling with their own set of pin-ups is what you will realize when you see the big picture. But then, that picture is not all, right? The small picture in the corner shows you how the little one sleeping in the bed room might wake up any minute, how the elder one has already woken up (she decided to skip the noon nap and take it from 7pm-9pm instead today), and begins her tantrum, refer Point 1. I realize that this scenario will definitely repeat, and for the next hour, nothing K can do cos he’s in the call, where again he has no choice but to begin to accept the American culture of work which begins by being eveready to take on work at their time zone, which translates to moi dealing with it.. here again, the big picture, at least next 48 hrs my mom is around so will ease the burden to an extent, but then after that.. I have to tackle it alone after Thursday. At least last few days, I didn’t have to, thanks to my mom around, but knowing this still doesn’t alter anything as far as the days ahead go. And in the days ahead there is one thing I have to really really focus on which is to pass my driving test.
3. Driving test: Simple, there are 20 classes of 20 min each and then you take up the test.18 down, 2 more to go. Licence to go by 29 Nov. I have managed to drive the car but am not certain such that it will make me ace the test. So I smartly call up my driving school and ask them to give me the test date on nov 29th by when am thinking I can put Narain K to shame with my driving skills demonstration. But here I failed to see the big picture, which is disaster, cos as we know seeing it has not helped much, and then when you don’t, hahaha. The driving school instructor turns around and says better to take it up on 20th cos that’s the day they have assigned for the school and the next day would be well after nov29th, and that’s too late. I try to smart alec him and then use my charm, but then he says in that case pls pay 1000 bucks and leave your signature, the DL will be taken care of. Emphatic no, really I have no idea when the honest kid in me with all the moral science values will speak up and put the criminal me to shame. One of those moments happened. But then, today I think more than moral science it’s this whole ego thing and the pin-up on the wall. Let’s see what else is on the wall, and yes, can’t miss it, Ma’am, are you pregnant?
4. Ma’am, are you pregnant? : I must be demented or something if I am going through Point 1 and Point 2 and even considering production. Why can’t we be less direct, less honest and keep these seemingly embarrassing Qs – I would think it would be embarrassing (I can never get this sp right) to ask this to someone who isn’t! No one pauses to think of the effect it might have on the other person. And considering the number of people who have asked me this. I should be sweating it out in the gym at least 1.5 hrs a day, 5 days a week, but people, this is the big grand picture where all it takes is dedicating 1.5 hrs to yourself a day having enrolled in one of the best gyms. How difficult can it be?
5. How difficult can it be?: In the big picture, it never is, you know, you would think after all 1.5 hrs out of some 12-16 waking hours, come on, that much you can do for yourself, but then, easier said than done.
I know nothing is difficult if you put your mind to it, where there’s a will, blah blah, but what I say is where there’s a pin-up, where there’s a big picture always, you know all these answers, and then you want a freeze, the big picture we have been talking about is a moving one, you want them all to freeze, no let me tell you, I think again that everything happening is for a cause, though at the moment it seems like the cause is to make me dial N for Nimhans immediately or.. OR..

And this is where dream exits, am not calling them escapades, donno why, come into play.

Dream exit 1 : Take a rick to the airport, board the next flight that leaves, go to that place it takes you, come back same day, after a day, whatever.
Dream exit 2: Plunk myself on a white chair in a house painted white, the c hair on the balcony, all I see is green and I read or write, no, does not end here, that is the easy part, read or write without keeping that one ear / one eye open for what the kids are doing, have they fallen down, or without having to think whether I should be getting up after this chapter or right now and begin making their food etc.,
Dream exit 3 : Cushion up and watch the line of movies pending, continuously, see if I can still do 10 back to back like those college days. Of course, here again the rest of it holds true as given in dream exit 1 with the kids bit.:)
Dream exit 4: Unwind with a few, or at least one good friend, keep talking, drinking, intersperse this with dream exits 2 and 3, lose track of time, make a complete fool of myself, ya sure, more than normally demonstrated is what I mean But then seems like these days I hardly can relate to anyone else, so am not sure should go solo on dream exit 4 maybe
Dream exit 5: Have intelligent conversations, healthy arguments at work place… pls come to my office and you will know how ‘dream’ fits in so beautifully here, so corollary to Dream exit 5 is 5a, which would read ‘land in a job where I have fun’, could well be debated as a dream still, so 5b, be your own boss, at least then I get to choose those around me so that dream exit 5 can happen!